A crayon zoom's along a white piece of paper mixing and colliding with other color's. Sitting at the coffee table along with the rest of his color's. In his own little world not minding that voice's from outside his head were yelling screaming at all angle's. A bright smile upon his face as he stood up with his drawing in hand and ran excitedly towards the voice's. "LOOK!! I DID!" Was all he heard before everything went black, years later drawing with pencil's and markers. In school as classmate's were drawing, coloring, talking among themselves. He sat there bouncing up and down excited and happy as the teacher called out to the student's that art time was done and to show what they did.
He was excited to see so many other kid's along with him waiting his turn while bouncing some in his seat he couldn't wait to show off what he could do. One by one classmate's went up to the front, showing their drawing's. One by one each of their drawings got better, better and better he was in a classroom filled with so much talent. Looking at his picture 'what was it again I drew? I don't remember.. their so much better than me..' His name was called as he rushed up with a large smile upon his face and took a deep breath yelling out and showing his drawing being so proud and happy with his work. There was silence for a moment before darkness took hold showing him year later.
Walking into the doctor's office with his parent's sitting down it was a check up. Looking around the office was so bright and everything was so huge. Walking into the room he could hear whispers and talking among the adult's, his own ear's picking up his name and a few word's but nothing made sense. Soon he was handed a pill, looking at it then looking at his parents which gestured for him to take it. He hesitated for a moment before taking the pill then a fog came over him swallowing the pill and without hour's the sound's of his parents were like a dream. Each morning, noon, night more, more pill's almost different each time his head went from foggy to darkness.
Fighting though school fighting his classmate's wanting to fit in be their friend, even a pretend spouse. He just wanted to belong, even when he got excited bouncing around and yelling out. He was hyper he had ADHD, ADD he was a child. The medicine had taken hold of him now, staring off into space forgetting the day's only remembering random part's of things. The pill's will help you focus, concentrate make it so your not hyper so you will be like the other kid's and behave. Looking around all the other kid's didn't have to take pill's they were normal and were allowed to be just that. They ran, played, broke the rule's but if he did it then he was being wrong and rude, a bad kid.
'Why don't you grow up?' 'stop being a bad kid' 'stop being you' Phase's and more he heard through growing up year's past still in school. It was a rare thing for him to have a friend and there he was on the bus standing over his 'friend' crying out being stuffed in between the seat's unable to move. Looking around as he heard the bus driver yell out, quickly pulling up his 'friend' from in between the seat's scared and silent darkness was his 'friend' now. Day's were a blur and night's were just the same eighteen year's of being nothing but a bad kid pill after pill of new drug's to 'help' him fit in and be normal.
Looking around being an adult now year's of school behind him, those pill's behind him. It didn't matter anymore, the pill's were not there anymore. It was now just him even that had no effect on people around him. He was still an outcast, nowhere to really call his own. Through this time he had managed to meet many other exciting and talented people, each had their own talent and ability. He stopped drawing stop writing stopped anything and everything that brought him even the slightest bit of joy or excitement. It had been so long and his body and mind had been through so much, happiness was a fairy tale. Something that brought him joy and he showed it was quickly kick or pulled away so his suffering would continue.
He had found those he thought he would spend his whole life with that maybe he would finally reach happiness and be joyful. As all good things they must pass, which each time his heart would beat it would crumble and shatter for the next to do the same. "Why do you do this to yourself? When you know that no mater what you're going to get hurt... If you know your being taken advantage of why do you let them?" "Because for that small time before I am... happy nothing but them can end it for me.. and when they do.. I can't help but forgive them and help them no matter what." "But your suffering from their gain" "Yeah...isn't that what love is.. if you love someone aren't you suppose to put yourself through hell so you can be with them? So you can show them that you love them no matter what?" "..." "... cause.. that's how I love no matter how much they hurt me or abuse me I love them cause maybe they will see that and not hurt me anymore.." "Your pathetic ... you're going to get yourself killed" "yeah... probably.." Looking at himself in the mirror, talking with himself as he went off to work.
Telling himself, "Maybe one day things will change... they will change" Shaking his head knowing better than to have false hope about people changing. It seemed his whole life other's always had to keep him down, helping out those he called friends was not something that kept him down as often. Each of his friend's usually had a problem he would put on his shoulders so they would be happy he didn't want those he cared about to suffer from sadness and sorrow. Those that made it their personal mission to keep even a glimmer of happiness were the ones he had to watch out for. Even if he knew what they were doing he would walk right into it so they could be happy. If his body would be striped from all the times he would be put down for showing or having a little bit of happiness or excitement his whole body would be riddled with them all over.
Sitting at his desk of his job in his cubical working day and night just to make enough to survive in a world that was only against him. He hadn't met anyone that had not hurt him in some form and way. moving a button of the chest of his shirt and pulled out his heart looking at it in his hand. The scar's and shattered pieces leaking out onto his desk wrapping up what he could with some tape before pushing it back into his chest. "Come on.. Last just a little longer.." he said to heart he had been told to go find someone to fix it, but every time he thought he might have found someone to help fix it. It only got torn open more and pieces would fall. leaning against the wall of his cubical as the wall moved suddenly as someone new had pushed against the wall some. Sitting up as he heard his name being called out, turning around it was one of the bosses. "Good evening! Mr. please would you assist one of our new crew member to our happy family!" His boss asked as he stood up and nodded, "Yes sir.." "This is Miss." Looking next to his cubical seeing a beautiful women her eyes shined with a cheerful and happy exterior.
Deep into her eyes he could see a scared person running around trying to make sure everything on her first day went smoothly. He offered his hand with a soft smile closing his eyes, "Welcome to the family" he extended a welcoming hand. Her eyes light up and took his hand softly. "Oh thank you! Yes I'm happy to be here! uh.. Mr.?" "Now be good to our new family member" the boss chimed in before leaving the two by themselves. He looked and waited until the boss was gone glancing at her more. "You can calm down now.. He's gone now let's get you set up." He said sitting back in his chair, he would glance at her. He had already liked the look she had in her eye's, plus the color was exotic to look at. Thinking about it he liked the sound of her voice also even if was very cheery and a bit shaky from how nervous she was.
Through out the day, week he would teach her about what she was suppose to do only with the boss checking in every few day's or so. He liked her intelligence which made him smile and feel a bit of happiness being around her. It was a month after she arrived he began noticing the sign's of a promising mate in her. He would note her body she was plump her clothing did her body justice, maybe just maybe this was the one.
