[Perhaps #11]

Strumming upon the lute closing his eyes sniffling slightly as another song came to his mind humming the tune as he couldn’t remember the lyrics to the song. It just felt right at the moment slowly lowering his head his heart and all the feelings he could muster came out as he continued strumming. The memories of the one he had loved that brought his daughter into the world. The memories of walking along beside her holding her hand in the park, the long night walks they took once. 

The times they were away from their home his she made his blood burn with passion wanting and waiting to pop the question to her wanting to make her his own nothing else mattered to him but her, and their child. Then the sting of the harder times which seemed to take over their relationship before and after his child was born, finally the words that were said the allegations towards him making the pain in his heart burn deep inside him more. 

The tears he once shed daily were coming back to him now letting all the feelings he had for her trying to push them all away. He mouthed the only words he knew of the song before his voice would take over, 

‘I have died everyday waiting for you.. 

darling don’t be afraid…

 I have loved you for a thousand years, I will love you for a thousand more.’

His head hung low as tears were rolling down his cheeks wanting her back, even with all the things that had happened between them. The passion still burned to be with and around her not just because of his daughter but for the promise to always love and honor as they both shall live. He knew she was laughing and enjoying herself knowing he was no more, could he really go back. The thoughts kept pouring into his mind like a rotating door more thoughts came in, but no solutions came to his mind as his thoughts kept on clouding his judgment. 

He wasn’t paying attention as the rest of the group had found him and were watching him from a distance hearing his sniffling with a lump in his throat voice. The music drowned out what was around him, opening up his eyes feeling the warmth of the sun upon his head making him stop for a moment placing the lute down only to press his head against the lute rocking back and forth. Leaning to his right side pushing himself up to his feet growling out and running to the nearest tree smacking the lute into pieces against the trees bark his body shaking. 

The piece he held in his hand he dropped before clinching his hands into fists smacking them over and over again against he tree. Stumbling back for a moment sniffing rubbing his knuckles from the pain of punching the tree.

 “Ow..” shaking his fists at his sides, reaching up grabbing the collar of his shirt rubbing his eyes, as he turned around noticing everybody had seen him and heard him. He didn’t say anything but wiped his eyes which were watery and puffy from the tears he had shed. [Main] cleared his throat making his way over to everybody, looking at each one briefly then walking past them and into the cottage laying down in his bed covering up closing his eyes.